Tales of Daring and Peril

Last weekend I went snorkeling with some friends. We saw plenty of beautiful fish, a very large manta ray and this bad boy.

This is the mighty great White Tip shark (not to be confused with a Great White). None the less, this shark was about 20 feet away and close to 5 feet long. I told my mom and she was a bit freaked out but the White Tip is a non-aggressive species. So it looked way cool but posed no danger. All the same, I now swim with sharks. This particular shark I fought but allowed it to live. That's because I respect and yes even love this killer (of tiny fishes) of the sea.

Bill Murray is Totally Scrooged!

Scrooged (1988) staring Bill Murray: Frank Cross runs a US TV station which is planning a live adaptation of Dickens' Christmas Carol. Frank's childhood wasn't a particularly pleasant one, and so he doesn't really appreciate the Christmas spirit. With the help of the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future, Frank realizes he must change. OK so that's the IMDB summary. Frank is President of IBC and he is about to run a live Christmas day special of The Christmas carol with Buddy Hackett as Scrooge and Mary Lou Retton as Tiny Tim. She not only walks but she does a double somersault! So his show is terrible and his promo ad for the show is even worse with the intent being to scare the audience into watching. It actually scares one viewer to death. He also fires the one person who questions the ad (Bobcat Goldthwait who later gets drunk, buys a gun and comes back to kill Frank). Frank's secretary has a son who is our Tiny Tim. He hasnt spoken since his father died. They have no money with which to seek decent medical care. Frank doesn't know but probably wouldn't care. He even cuts his secretary's bonus that year. So he obviously has no Christmas Spirit. In come the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future. We discover that as a child Frank got veal for Christmas and sat in front of the TV non-stop. We also learn that he is madly in love with Claire Phillips (Karen Allen who played Marion in Raiders of the Lost Ark). Frank tells her in their past "I never liked a girl enough to give her 12 sharp knives. But Frank blows it because he chose his career as Frisbee the Dog over being with her on Christmas Eve. This decisioin is what leads to his ascension at IBC television. We learn in the future that Claire has become mean and bitter because of comments he makes to her about saving herself and his secretary's son is in a padded room. Of course he changes his ways. He interupts the live show and goes on live TV and talks about the true spirit of Christmas. Sort of.

OK now it is a sad reflection on the state of movie adaptations for A Christmas Carol that this is the 2nd best version. Even sadder that the best version involves a frog. Anyway, I watched this movie a year ago and I remembered really enjoying it. I did enjoy it but not like I thought I would. So let's start with my criticisms. This movie feels way too 80s. Not in a good way. There are lots of good 80s movies. But this one feels like I should see Gina Davis pop up at any moment. Does that make sense? I hope so. Also, the change is too sudden. He is still pretty hard hearted up until the Ghost of Christmas Future. And then the change seems hokey. I'm afraid that this part of the movie requires an actor that can sell drama. Bill can't. While yelling that he can change he comes across like Bob Wiley insisting that he will go away. It works in What About Bob but not here. I also don't like that our Tiny Tim ends up in a padded room. How does that happen? Because he can't talk? Yeah OK. And then in the end he talks saying "God bless us, everyone." OK that had to happen but it still was way cheesy. Lastly, when after the visit from the last ghost he changes his way and he interrupts the live program and goes on his ramble...OK so it's supposed to be spur of the moment train-of-thought but it gets to the point where I am going crazy cause he's not getting to the point. But you get the payoff when Claire shows up and they reunite on stage.

Which brings us to the things I liked. Number one is Marion. I know her name is Claire but she'll always be Marion from Raider of the Lost Ark to me. So I'm going to call her Marion. Anyway, every time she smiles it steals the scene. She is the ultimate girl next door who you could have had a wonderful life with if you hadn't ignored her for the prom queens sort of thing. So her character is great. The best part of the movie for me is when Frank is doing his live TV thing and he gets a kiss from a tv dancer and says that it's very good but not great. There has only ever been one great. It cuts to Marion's homeless shelter where she works and Frank says her name on TV. Everyone at the shelter goes crazy. That makes me smile lots. So Marion is wonderful. The fact that she still loves Frank is unbelievable.
I also really dug the Ghost of Christmas Present as played by Carol Kane. Can't help but love her. Though her continual beating of Frank tends to get old. I also loved the score. Danny Elfman which surprised me. But since I liked the score it shouldn't.

Anyway, good movie but not great. Bill Murray is always a pleasure but this is not one of my favorite Bill Murray films. Again it's a decent Christmas movie but not one of my favorites. That's OK cause I still have plenty of time to watch White Christmas, It's a Wonderful Life and Edward Scissorhands.

Merry Christmas to all of you! I hope this is a great one for everyone! On to January. The category of the month is one that is near and dear to me. For January, please submit to me your favorite Tim Burton film. I am putting forth the best Comic Book movie of all time, Batman (1989).

4th and 18!

It was at that very impossible moment when I was thinking of ways to have Harvey Unga killed for dropping 2 touchdown passes. You see, because he muffed an easy touchdown catch on a 4th down on BYU's last drive, Utah was able to go up by 1 point with a minute and change left. I thought "OK just like last year. BYU can do it." 3 plays later with BYU at their 12 yard line on a 4th and 18, all I wanted to do was murder Unga. I wondered if I could scrounge up enough dough for the hit. Then Max Hall threw a 49 yard pass. Several plays later all I could think of was whether it is appropriate to send one of my children to Unga in appreciation of his 15 yard touchdown run to win the game. It's been several hours now and I can barely talk because of how much I screamed and several of my children still won't come near me. Today was the 2nd happiest day of this year! Thanks Cougars!

Your Fully Invested Fan

Roy

Charleton Heston, the alpha and Omega Man!

First things first. I deeply apologize for anyone who was surprised by those 2 scenes. It has been 10 years since I saw the film and I plum forgot. So if I caused anyone discomfort, I promise it won't happen again.

OK onto the good stuff. Omega Man is one of my favorite Charleton Heston films. It's all about Barrel Chested glory and killing things instead of trying to fix them. More on that later. Quick plot summary for Omega Man: Omega Man is a 1971 science fiction thriller starring Charlton Heston. The movie is based on Richard Matheson's 1954 novel, I Am Legend. The screenplay was written by John William and Joyce Corrington, and the movie was directed by Boris Sagal. The story was first filmed in 1964, under the title The Last Man on Earth, with Vincent Price in the lead role. A third adaptation of the story, I Am Legend, starring Will Smith, is scheduled for release on December 14, 2007." I love anything Vincent Price and I am deeply disturbed about the upcoming remake. So Charleton plays Robert Neville, a survivor of germ warfare that wiped out all humanity. He is the only person who was immune. There are others who are alive but suffering from severe symptoms including ash-grey skin and hair, weird looking eyes, lots of cysts, light sensitivity and they can only wear black cloaks. They call themselves The Family and they hate anything to do with technology which they blame for what has happened. So they spend all their time burning stuff and trying to kill Robert. Robert soon discovers other surviving humans who have not yet succumbed to the plague. He decides to use his blood as an antidote and take everyone to the hills. The family has other plans.

So the film starts with our hero, Robert Neville, just taking a pleasant drive through downtown LA which is oddly vacant. Then he stops and starts shooting at a shadow in a window. You know immediately that we are in for a good time. In short time we get through the flashbacks that fill us in on what happened to the world (crummy germ warfare!), and find ourselves viewing a shirtless Charleton Heston shopping for clothes. Not just shirtless but glistening. Then we are let in early on Robert's deteriorating mental state. He imagines that every phone in the city is ringing and has to scream that it's not true for it to stop. He then goes home and plays himself in Chess and watches himself on TV. Chuck, in commenting on the film said that Robert is trying to survive his own survival and is failing. For example, why hasn't he headed for the hills? Why does he stay where his life is at risk? It's because it is better to be surrounded by enemies than to be completely alone. So as soon as he discovers other humans he decides that it IS time to head for the hills. One of these survivors is a boy named Ritchie. He is in an advanced stage of the plague, but Charleton manages to save him with his immune blood. We learn that it can take weeks to turn or an instant. so Ritchie had time but others won't be so lucky. Segway into Lisa, Robert's love interest. She is also Ritchie's sister. She has some awesome outfits including a red snake skin pant suit. So anyway, after Ritchie is cured he asks why Robert doesn't try to cure the family? Robert says they are vermin. Well stupid Ritchie goes to the family and tells them that they have a cure. What do they do? The kill him. NEVER EVER TRY TO HELP OTHERS! Anyway, long story short, Lisa turns and as Robert tries to save her he is killed, but not until he manages to get a bottle of his blood to the survivors. So he is the savior of the new world, in case you missed the crucifixion pose that he dies in.

My favorite line is "You better hitch up your drawers." I also love it when Mathias is expounding upon the evils of mankind and Robert says "You're full of crap." Anyway, great Sci-Fi film. Charleton made it after Planet of the Apes and right before Soylent Green which I consider the Holy Trinity of 70's Sci-Fi. Another sweet thing about Omega Man is it is parodied in one of the best Simpsons Halloween Specials ever with HOMEGA MAN. If you haven't seen it, here is a link thanks to Jon Madsen.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ekLDyPGX9a0

I hope you all enjoyed it. Let me know.

On to the movie for December. Obviously the theme is Christmas. I vote for Edward Scissorhands. I'll take your recommendations and make a poll on Dec 1st.

Star Trek Shmar Shmrek

So I recently made fun of a friend for being a Vampire Captain Kirk for Halloween. Sorry Jon. I've never really liked Star Trek and I often look down on those that do. But recently I had an epiphany. I was trying to get someone we'll call Shmoe to eat something he had never tried before. I was so frustrated because I knew he would like it if he just gave it a chance but because of the way it looked there was no way it was going to happen. That's when I realised that I had never seen a single Star Trek movie or perhaps even an entire episode. So here goes. I have placed in my Blockbuster Online Que all three original seasons (there were only 3?) all the movies and all of the Next Generation. I hope to watch them all in chronological order. Either this will open up a new world to me or at the very least I will be able to say with confidence why I can't stand this stuff. Wish me luck.
I do have a question for Jon. Should I watch Next Generation season 3 before or after The Final Frontier? For that matter any time there is a movie same year as a season of the show should I go with movie first or season?
To those of you who are ashamed of me, I understand.

Coming Home

Remember when we were in High School and we made fun of the grads who came back for school dances? What a bunch of low lifes. Then one fine day our freshman year at BYU Jon and I got a call from our friend Sara (the) Morrison. So we went back to Timpview's Homecoming. Yeah, we were losers. Anyway I found this pic. The girl I'm with turned out to be the best friend of my yet unmet wife Valerie. Hey! Jon had hair!

November Movie of the Month - Heston Fest!

I am so pleased to announce that this month we will be featuring a Charleton Heston film for the movie of the month. Go vote in the poll to the right immediately. Now.

Here is a brief line from IMDB that sums up Chuck better than I can: With features chiseled in stone, who else but Charlton Heston could you picture as Michelangelo, as Ben-Hur, as Moses? Heston's movie career took off with The Greatest Show on Earth (1952) and reached light speed with Ben-Hur (1959). Although he has played a pantheon of larger-than-life roles, he usually prefers to talk about the day-to-day daily grind of the movie business, and especially credits the writers and directors he has worked for much of his success. Though aging gracefully, the venerated Heston has lately been more interested in promoting right-wing political issues than acting.

So we all know Charleton from his big pics like 10 Comandments and Ben Hur (he won an Oscar for Best Actor in Ben Hur), but a decade ago I really got to know his brilliant sci-fi work. Planet of the Apes is amazing and Soylent Green is still one of the movies that can make me laugh to tears. But I'd have to say Omega Man is my favorite. I desperately hope that wins the vote so that those of you who have not yet seen it can have that pleasure. Either way it will be a joy to salute one of America's finest actors. So make your choice and let's dive head first into barrel-chested glory!