4th and 18!

It was at that very impossible moment when I was thinking of ways to have Harvey Unga killed for dropping 2 touchdown passes. You see, because he muffed an easy touchdown catch on a 4th down on BYU's last drive, Utah was able to go up by 1 point with a minute and change left. I thought "OK just like last year. BYU can do it." 3 plays later with BYU at their 12 yard line on a 4th and 18, all I wanted to do was murder Unga. I wondered if I could scrounge up enough dough for the hit. Then Max Hall threw a 49 yard pass. Several plays later all I could think of was whether it is appropriate to send one of my children to Unga in appreciation of his 15 yard touchdown run to win the game. It's been several hours now and I can barely talk because of how much I screamed and several of my children still won't come near me. Today was the 2nd happiest day of this year! Thanks Cougars!

Your Fully Invested Fan

Roy

Charleton Heston, the alpha and Omega Man!

First things first. I deeply apologize for anyone who was surprised by those 2 scenes. It has been 10 years since I saw the film and I plum forgot. So if I caused anyone discomfort, I promise it won't happen again.

OK onto the good stuff. Omega Man is one of my favorite Charleton Heston films. It's all about Barrel Chested glory and killing things instead of trying to fix them. More on that later. Quick plot summary for Omega Man: Omega Man is a 1971 science fiction thriller starring Charlton Heston. The movie is based on Richard Matheson's 1954 novel, I Am Legend. The screenplay was written by John William and Joyce Corrington, and the movie was directed by Boris Sagal. The story was first filmed in 1964, under the title The Last Man on Earth, with Vincent Price in the lead role. A third adaptation of the story, I Am Legend, starring Will Smith, is scheduled for release on December 14, 2007." I love anything Vincent Price and I am deeply disturbed about the upcoming remake. So Charleton plays Robert Neville, a survivor of germ warfare that wiped out all humanity. He is the only person who was immune. There are others who are alive but suffering from severe symptoms including ash-grey skin and hair, weird looking eyes, lots of cysts, light sensitivity and they can only wear black cloaks. They call themselves The Family and they hate anything to do with technology which they blame for what has happened. So they spend all their time burning stuff and trying to kill Robert. Robert soon discovers other surviving humans who have not yet succumbed to the plague. He decides to use his blood as an antidote and take everyone to the hills. The family has other plans.

So the film starts with our hero, Robert Neville, just taking a pleasant drive through downtown LA which is oddly vacant. Then he stops and starts shooting at a shadow in a window. You know immediately that we are in for a good time. In short time we get through the flashbacks that fill us in on what happened to the world (crummy germ warfare!), and find ourselves viewing a shirtless Charleton Heston shopping for clothes. Not just shirtless but glistening. Then we are let in early on Robert's deteriorating mental state. He imagines that every phone in the city is ringing and has to scream that it's not true for it to stop. He then goes home and plays himself in Chess and watches himself on TV. Chuck, in commenting on the film said that Robert is trying to survive his own survival and is failing. For example, why hasn't he headed for the hills? Why does he stay where his life is at risk? It's because it is better to be surrounded by enemies than to be completely alone. So as soon as he discovers other humans he decides that it IS time to head for the hills. One of these survivors is a boy named Ritchie. He is in an advanced stage of the plague, but Charleton manages to save him with his immune blood. We learn that it can take weeks to turn or an instant. so Ritchie had time but others won't be so lucky. Segway into Lisa, Robert's love interest. She is also Ritchie's sister. She has some awesome outfits including a red snake skin pant suit. So anyway, after Ritchie is cured he asks why Robert doesn't try to cure the family? Robert says they are vermin. Well stupid Ritchie goes to the family and tells them that they have a cure. What do they do? The kill him. NEVER EVER TRY TO HELP OTHERS! Anyway, long story short, Lisa turns and as Robert tries to save her he is killed, but not until he manages to get a bottle of his blood to the survivors. So he is the savior of the new world, in case you missed the crucifixion pose that he dies in.

My favorite line is "You better hitch up your drawers." I also love it when Mathias is expounding upon the evils of mankind and Robert says "You're full of crap." Anyway, great Sci-Fi film. Charleton made it after Planet of the Apes and right before Soylent Green which I consider the Holy Trinity of 70's Sci-Fi. Another sweet thing about Omega Man is it is parodied in one of the best Simpsons Halloween Specials ever with HOMEGA MAN. If you haven't seen it, here is a link thanks to Jon Madsen.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ekLDyPGX9a0

I hope you all enjoyed it. Let me know.

On to the movie for December. Obviously the theme is Christmas. I vote for Edward Scissorhands. I'll take your recommendations and make a poll on Dec 1st.

Star Trek Shmar Shmrek

So I recently made fun of a friend for being a Vampire Captain Kirk for Halloween. Sorry Jon. I've never really liked Star Trek and I often look down on those that do. But recently I had an epiphany. I was trying to get someone we'll call Shmoe to eat something he had never tried before. I was so frustrated because I knew he would like it if he just gave it a chance but because of the way it looked there was no way it was going to happen. That's when I realised that I had never seen a single Star Trek movie or perhaps even an entire episode. So here goes. I have placed in my Blockbuster Online Que all three original seasons (there were only 3?) all the movies and all of the Next Generation. I hope to watch them all in chronological order. Either this will open up a new world to me or at the very least I will be able to say with confidence why I can't stand this stuff. Wish me luck.
I do have a question for Jon. Should I watch Next Generation season 3 before or after The Final Frontier? For that matter any time there is a movie same year as a season of the show should I go with movie first or season?
To those of you who are ashamed of me, I understand.

Coming Home

Remember when we were in High School and we made fun of the grads who came back for school dances? What a bunch of low lifes. Then one fine day our freshman year at BYU Jon and I got a call from our friend Sara (the) Morrison. So we went back to Timpview's Homecoming. Yeah, we were losers. Anyway I found this pic. The girl I'm with turned out to be the best friend of my yet unmet wife Valerie. Hey! Jon had hair!

November Movie of the Month - Heston Fest!

I am so pleased to announce that this month we will be featuring a Charleton Heston film for the movie of the month. Go vote in the poll to the right immediately. Now.

Here is a brief line from IMDB that sums up Chuck better than I can: With features chiseled in stone, who else but Charlton Heston could you picture as Michelangelo, as Ben-Hur, as Moses? Heston's movie career took off with The Greatest Show on Earth (1952) and reached light speed with Ben-Hur (1959). Although he has played a pantheon of larger-than-life roles, he usually prefers to talk about the day-to-day daily grind of the movie business, and especially credits the writers and directors he has worked for much of his success. Though aging gracefully, the venerated Heston has lately been more interested in promoting right-wing political issues than acting.

So we all know Charleton from his big pics like 10 Comandments and Ben Hur (he won an Oscar for Best Actor in Ben Hur), but a decade ago I really got to know his brilliant sci-fi work. Planet of the Apes is amazing and Soylent Green is still one of the movies that can make me laugh to tears. But I'd have to say Omega Man is my favorite. I desperately hope that wins the vote so that those of you who have not yet seen it can have that pleasure. Either way it will be a joy to salute one of America's finest actors. So make your choice and let's dive head first into barrel-chested glory!

Halloween Music For the Masses...Finally!

OK so the 2007 Halloween cd has finally been produced. Well almost. The art work should be done tonight but the set list is complete and I will share with you below.
This year we decided to go on the theme of how scary and terribly destructive girls are. This picture is what I think will end up as our cover. It's Vampira from the movie Plan 9 From Outer Space. Anyway, this is a unique cd. Usually we have a core of songs that goes along with the theme but this year ever single song (except for the intro piece) is about girly badness (with a few we had to stretch the interpretation). Jon did a brilliant job of ordering the tracks. Jon went with the theory that with evil (and women) we follow this progression: "First we fear/despise it, then we tolerate it, then we embrace it' but (we end it) with a sort of victimization coda." Also we substituted the usual movie quotes with stanzas from The Raven as read by Christopher Walken. We've wanted to use this for a number of years and fortuitously the poem is all about a man going insane from the haunting memory of a woman. So here's the list and explanation of the song progression:

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1. It's Halloween - The Shaggs (Intro)

2. Scarecrow - Beck: the hero's journey begins

3. Burn the Witch - Queens of the Stoneage: the hero discovers the antagonist and recognizes her evil

4. Reptile - The Church: although this song i think is about the post effects of being wronged, i'm still putting it toward the beginning in the 'despise' phase since that's what the narrator feels

5. Strange Brew - Cream

6. Witch Queen of New Orleans - Redbone

7. Voodoo Dolly - Siouxsie and the Banshees

8. Spookshow Baby - Rob Zombie

9. The Beast - Concrete Blonde: acknowledgement and respect for the evil

10. Out of Limits - The Markettes: a thought process

11. Spooky Little Girl Like You - The Classics IV: an apparent infatuation

12. Be My Druidess - Type O Negative: a proposition

13. Heart of Lilith - Inkubus Sukkubus: an acknowledgment of desire for what is wrong

14. One Caress - Depeche Mode: longing for darkness

15. Cold From Fever - Sunshine Blind: confusion

16. Rainbow in the Dark - DIO: seclusion and betrayal

17. Dead Heaven - Gary Numan: numbness and angst

18. Exit Music (for a Film) - Radiohead

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All the song notes come straight from what Jon told me for his reasons. He deserves full credit. I did none of this. I'll happily take credit for the theme, suggesting some songs and some of the cover art, but all the creative stuff I leave to the pros. Especially this last week. Jon has worked like a Jon possessed. Thanks hard Jon.

So I'm way happy with this cd. I've been wanting to use some of these songs for years including Rainbow in the Dark and Spooky Little Girl (the song that led me to our theme) and Out of limits. I discovered some great new songs like Scarecrow by Beck and Voodoo Dolly by Siouxsie Sue.

So anyway, if you want a copy, let me know. I realise it's a little late this year but well too bad. I had an out of town wedding and a baby born and Jon went to Hawaii. Be happy we did it at all.

Now I'm finally ready for the big day. HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!

October Movie - The Lady In White

So the movie of the month - as voted by you all - is Lady In White. I have to think that we chose this film based on nostalgic feelings of when we were all in junior high and the PG-13 horror film genre didn't really exist yet. So we got REALLY pumped about the one horror film we COULD watch...Lady In White. Even back then I remember being disappointed. If we were feeling nostalgic I wish we had chosen Something Wicked This Way Comes or even Salems Lot. Anyway, here goes.
This film is based on a popular urban legend about the "White Lady" who had a daughter that was killed by a predatory suitor. Finding her daughter dead she kills herself and she haunts the lakefront to this day. So we start the film with this legend already going on. Our nerd hero, Frankie Scarlatti, gets locked in a coat closet at school by the cool kids. While there he sees the ghost of a young girl. She drops something down a grate then she is apparently murdered. We later learn that this apparition occurs every night and that the girl is carried off all the way accross town and thrown off a cliff. Why has no one else seen it before? Is everyone asleep by 10 pm? Anyway, after the ghost leaves we see a real man come in and try to retrieve the item from the grate (the furnace is about to be replaced and if the item is found there where the girl was killed this guy could get caught). The man sees Frankie and tries to kill him. Why not? What's one more murder (there had been 10 or so)? He survives and we spend the rest of the film trying to figure out who this man is. In the meantime we see the Lady in White several times but it's never scary. The director should have watched Halloween on lessons for how to freak you out with the appearance of the scary thing in your movie. Then we get a real treat when we meet the Lady's living sister who is Mona from Who's the Boss? That's the scariest part of the film hands down. We learn that the murderer is Frankie's uncle who in the end tries to kill Frankie. Of course Frankie is saved by Mona and then again by the Lady herself. Uncle Phil dies and the Lady and her daughter can now both rest forever as they blast off into space. But Mona is dead. So that's good news.
Lots of problems. First, this film feels like the Halloween version of The Christmas Story with the author (in this case the Author/Director Frank LaLoggia) narrating the film like a fond remeniscence. It doesn't work for a scary movie. You can't have a cheery, nostalgic scary movie. Then there are the Puma Man flying effects which were so funny in The Puma Man but not here. Then there's the forest which has an eternal layer of fog on the ground. I could go on but it's really upsetting me. I can't remember how many times I hit the status button to see how much time was left. If we have another one like this then I may start exercising veto powers.

So the movie category for this month is Charleton Heston films. No one can screw that up. My vote is for Omega Man.